Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Can i not drive my cunt home
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
