I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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