You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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