she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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