i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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