Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize