i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
