You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
