Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
ugly people sure do ruin things
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize