Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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