So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
