You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
