Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
