its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Randomize
