remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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