my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
