Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
