Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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