I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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