Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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