I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Randomize
