Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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