Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Farmville is her only friend.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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