I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
