I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
