She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
