I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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