In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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