Little spoons don't ask big questions
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
But theres a keg here and me gusta
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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