I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
