I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
