One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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