He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
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