There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
