Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
