I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
