"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Randomize
