its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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