I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
