Cold hands, warm shart.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
