Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
