Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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