Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize