i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
