Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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