Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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