I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
