I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
is it fun? or sober?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
