I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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