dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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