oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
