Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
