You work out of a Hotel?
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
