Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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