he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
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