toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize