Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
You pole danced in your parka.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
